having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
