once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
