Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
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I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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