dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I lost the right to judge tonight
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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