So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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