I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
