Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
