Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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