Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
