Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
