I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize