oh god the rape fog is back!
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
