Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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