Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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