He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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