It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Randomize
