somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I need moral support for this bender
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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