and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
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You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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