dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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