They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
