They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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