Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
