nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
