yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
