I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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