so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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