Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
