physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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