So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
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