"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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