a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
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