I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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