I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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