what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
