I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
