Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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