oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
