hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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