Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
