What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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