This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
