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• (240): View more from Maryland

  He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I'm pregnant.

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up

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• (518): View more from New York

  Why does your place smell like gin and misery?

  (1-518): View more from New York

  I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  He's honking my boob in his sleep

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  It's innocent and endearing in some way

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