so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize