I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
