Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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