We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
