Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
