: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
