Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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