I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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