She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
