your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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