Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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