So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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