he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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