is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
