Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
