She went from zero to smokin in five shots
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
is wine microwaveable?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
