Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
