so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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