She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
God, I missed his penis.
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