Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
