He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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