You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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