you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
