Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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